One franchise down! Next up we’ve
decided to go with one of the more unlikely entries to make our list: The Exorcist. It is a unique horror
series in that it’s sort of what Marvel (DC is better) did with The Avengers only in reverse… only it’s
a horror movie… and there are no superheroes… What I mean is what’s weird about
it is that all the sequels are individual adventures of each of the characters
that are joined in the first film. Part 2 follows Reagan, part 3 follows Father
Karras and 4 and 5 are alternate histories of Merrin, which is something that
Marvel does – it all comes together. The
franchise does reach the 5-film watermark as we have decided to treat The Beginning and Dominion as separate films as they do in fact have different,
though similar story lines, and are credited to different directors (one of
whom also made Nightmare on Elm Street 4,
so we will be seeing more of his work later).
Who would of thought that a film with a masturbating twelve-year-old
girl would have so many sequels… oh.
Showing posts with label Reagan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reagan. Show all posts
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
The Exorcist II: The Heretic - destroying Linda Blair
Maire says:
What the fuck did I just watch?
Yes, I know it’s one of those movies that you need to watch, in a hipster kind of way.
Yes, it did lead to a moment of awesomeness when Corey realized why he knew the name Pazuzu, and accurately recreated how he knew it.
And yes, it allowed for J. Spurlin over at imdb to come up with this understated gem for his plot summary:
The beauty of The Exorcist is its epic clash of “good vs. evil” in an unexpected container. The horror of The Heretic is its desperate attempt to cling to its predecessor’s glory, while derailing so quickly and horrifically, nothing is left but a shell of what could have been an ok film and another 90 minutes to sit through.
But hey, it’s not all bad for Linda Blair. Just check out all of this awesome modeling work she did in the early 80’s.
Salty says:
Watching The Heretic is like being in a serious accident: you don’t really know what’s happening or why when it’s going on, but you are pretty sure that it’s really, really bad and you just want it to be over. You wish you had avoided it, but you just have to let it play out. Then, once it ends and you get some distance on it and you start taking in the details, you start to question it. Why is that doctor’s office full of glass walls? Was that even a doctor’s office? Why did that man have a strobe light on his forehead? What the fuck was up with those moths? Isn’t that the dude from Field of Dreams? Why doesn’t that skyscraper’s balcony have a complete railing? What is this movie about? Did the person I watched this movie with slip me some drugs? I have only scratched the surface here. This movie creates questions upon questions.
And afterwards the movie haunts you, and for a while you can’t relate to people who haven’t had the same experience, but you bond intensely with those who have. You may try to explain it to friends and loved ones, but they don’t understand unless they experience it for themselves. So, you try to move on and pretend it didn’t happen, but it becomes the standard by which you compare all other bad you films you’ve seen. I am not kidding; this is what seeing The Heretic is like. How did this move not obliterate a lot of people’s careers? Was this movie the result of a bet? Does anyone like this movie? I don’t know any of the answers to any of the questions that I have put forth here.
Corey says:
Before I start on II, let me give you my interpretation of the star ratings that we use here at the ole’ House.
What the fuck did I just watch?
Yes, I know it’s one of those movies that you need to watch, in a hipster kind of way.
Yes, it did lead to a moment of awesomeness when Corey realized why he knew the name Pazuzu, and accurately recreated how he knew it.
And yes, it allowed for J. Spurlin over at imdb to come up with this understated gem for his plot summary:
His investigation takes him to Africa where he locates another recipient of Merrin's exorcising and learns something fascinating and terrible about locusts.BUT, the above ≠ good movie. Or even laughably bad movie. Remember, I’m the schlock guy of the group, but hoo boy, this was a baaaad film.
The beauty of The Exorcist is its epic clash of “good vs. evil” in an unexpected container. The horror of The Heretic is its desperate attempt to cling to its predecessor’s glory, while derailing so quickly and horrifically, nothing is left but a shell of what could have been an ok film and another 90 minutes to sit through.
But hey, it’s not all bad for Linda Blair. Just check out all of this awesome modeling work she did in the early 80’s.
Salty says:
Watching The Heretic is like being in a serious accident: you don’t really know what’s happening or why when it’s going on, but you are pretty sure that it’s really, really bad and you just want it to be over. You wish you had avoided it, but you just have to let it play out. Then, once it ends and you get some distance on it and you start taking in the details, you start to question it. Why is that doctor’s office full of glass walls? Was that even a doctor’s office? Why did that man have a strobe light on his forehead? What the fuck was up with those moths? Isn’t that the dude from Field of Dreams? Why doesn’t that skyscraper’s balcony have a complete railing? What is this movie about? Did the person I watched this movie with slip me some drugs? I have only scratched the surface here. This movie creates questions upon questions.
And afterwards the movie haunts you, and for a while you can’t relate to people who haven’t had the same experience, but you bond intensely with those who have. You may try to explain it to friends and loved ones, but they don’t understand unless they experience it for themselves. So, you try to move on and pretend it didn’t happen, but it becomes the standard by which you compare all other bad you films you’ve seen. I am not kidding; this is what seeing The Heretic is like. How did this move not obliterate a lot of people’s careers? Was this movie the result of a bet? Does anyone like this movie? I don’t know any of the answers to any of the questions that I have put forth here.
Corey says:
Before I start on II, let me give you my interpretation of the star ratings that we use here at the ole’ House.
☆ : Garbage. Very little (if any) redeeming quality.
☆☆ : There’s some good stuff in there, you just have to look for it a little.
☆☆☆ A film that must be watched.
I want to emphasize that 3 star rating: a film that must be watched. It doesn’t say it has to be good. And now, Exorcist II.
This film is baffling in how bad it is. I’m not sure if bad is even the correct word for it. If you haven’t seen II, I must insist. To just try to put into words how I feel about the film, much less the quality, is very difficult.
First, Reagan’s back! Hooray! Let’s hook her up to this weird sci-fi brain thingy! Repressed memories GO! Now James Earl Jones, and Africa, and Pazuzu! And bugs, don’t forget the bugs! Some dudes fall off of a cliff! Reagan can heal the sick! Roll credits!
Ok, did that last paragraph make sense? No? Good. Now, imagine how that is my review of II, keeping in mind... I give it three stars.
This film is baffling in how bad it is. I’m not sure if bad is even the correct word for it. If you haven’t seen II, I must insist. To just try to put into words how I feel about the film, much less the quality, is very difficult.
First, Reagan’s back! Hooray! Let’s hook her up to this weird sci-fi brain thingy! Repressed memories GO! Now James Earl Jones, and Africa, and Pazuzu! And bugs, don’t forget the bugs! Some dudes fall off of a cliff! Reagan can heal the sick! Roll credits!
Ok, did that last paragraph make sense? No? Good. Now, imagine how that is my review of II, keeping in mind... I give it three stars.
| Maire | Corey | Salty |
|---|---|---|
| ☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆ |
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Exorcist - introducing Linda Blair
Maire says:
Woo, I’ve actually seen this one before!
Aside from being a classic, The Exorcist gives us much more than warm fuzzy memories. I feel like this is the franchise the established the trope of privileged white parent(s) with a demon possessed child. It also brought the whole exorcism ritual into pop culture. Seriously, I think I know all of the text and hub bub thanks to this franchise and The Omen franchise. And it made Linda Blair’s career! Well, for a moment anyway.
Chances are, you’ve seen this one too, so I won’t ramble. And if you haven’t seen it, go watch it. It’s pretty good.
Corey says:
This was the first time that I had viewed the “super scary pants-shitting fuck fuck fuck” version of the already terrifying Exorcist. To add to the pot ‘o fun, this was also the first time viewing the film in over a decade. And let me tell you: this bad boy holds up.
One of the most interesting things about this film is that much of the “scary” comes from the awful realism and desperation that Dimmy and company have to face. There’s no fun in the film. No camp. Very little gore. The only jump scenes are very subtle (let’s play spot the Capt. Howdy!), which makes them even more terrifying. And yet I am horrified by what William Friedkin put together.
It’s the kind of horror that builds in you, like a cancer. At first, I’m just uncomfortable. So a little girl pissed herself in the middle of a party, no big deal. Then there’s some spooky shaking. Kind of weird, ok. And then it just keeps going. It keeps hitting you with escalating acts of defilement. And that spider walk. Fuck that spider walk.
This is one of the few films that we’ll watch that I think still affects me the same way that it did the first time I watched it. It’s a masterpiece, and it’s status as one of the greatest of all time is well deserved.
Salty says:
Catholics go out of their way to hate themselves. What an unusual dogma: love the weak, the poor, the meager and the sick because they are blessed - but you, you’re scum, born into sin and damnation, you had better spend the rest of your life trying to make up for your own offensive existence or you’ll spend eternity filleting yourself and diving into salt or whatever. This is one of the most popular religions in the world. At least they've got good demons.
When I watch The Exorcist this is what comes to mind. For some reason - though I've seen the movie half a dozen times at least - I always forget about the Father-Karras-dying-mother subplot that is so depressing. It always catches me off guard. Instead of expecting to watch a tutorial on how to glut on self-loathing, I always remember the film as a kind of party with my dream demon the way The Murderdolls portray it in Love At First Fright, which, I believe, is the way most of the world remembers it. That is, the world and I remember a joyride with blasphemy and spinning heads and pea soup. I watch the movie to see Reagan scream “Let Jesus fuck you!” and do the blood vomiting crab-walk and to enjoy all the other rank and belching shenanigans Captain Howdy brings with him.
And the film works it’s way to those things, but you have to make a lot of other stops. First there is the sad life of Karras, then the pissing on the carpet, both of which are difficult to watch. And then we go to the hospital for tests. The tests are the worst. While it’s always funny to watch people smoke in the hospital, but advanced painful medical tests performed on a screaming young girl are not fun to watch, and it's around this time that I usually forget that I put this movie on to have fun with the devil and I start thinking that maybe I remembered wrong and that this movie isn't a joke to have fun with, but instead it’s very disturbing film. Then comes the Father’s visit to his mom in the asylum and Reagan’s mother’s despairing plea for information on how to go about getting an exorcism, and I know that the movie’s goal is to make me feel ashamed to watch it, and I kind of do.
So, by the time I get to the goods that I've been waiting for - that I looked forward to with a smile on my face - it’s not so easy to smile, because the movie is so serious that it makes you see the horror even if you only wanted to just revel in the weirdness and the chaos, and catholic or not, I am certain that I don’t want to hang out with a demon, regardless of his rank on a ship, and I start to think that maybe I should hate myself a little for thinking that I would. That’s how I know that the film was made by Catholics. Way to go fetus-huggers.
Woo, I’ve actually seen this one before!
Aside from being a classic, The Exorcist gives us much more than warm fuzzy memories. I feel like this is the franchise the established the trope of privileged white parent(s) with a demon possessed child. It also brought the whole exorcism ritual into pop culture. Seriously, I think I know all of the text and hub bub thanks to this franchise and The Omen franchise. And it made Linda Blair’s career! Well, for a moment anyway.
Chances are, you’ve seen this one too, so I won’t ramble. And if you haven’t seen it, go watch it. It’s pretty good.
Corey says:
This was the first time that I had viewed the “super scary pants-shitting fuck fuck fuck” version of the already terrifying Exorcist. To add to the pot ‘o fun, this was also the first time viewing the film in over a decade. And let me tell you: this bad boy holds up.
One of the most interesting things about this film is that much of the “scary” comes from the awful realism and desperation that Dimmy and company have to face. There’s no fun in the film. No camp. Very little gore. The only jump scenes are very subtle (let’s play spot the Capt. Howdy!), which makes them even more terrifying. And yet I am horrified by what William Friedkin put together.
It’s the kind of horror that builds in you, like a cancer. At first, I’m just uncomfortable. So a little girl pissed herself in the middle of a party, no big deal. Then there’s some spooky shaking. Kind of weird, ok. And then it just keeps going. It keeps hitting you with escalating acts of defilement. And that spider walk. Fuck that spider walk.
This is one of the few films that we’ll watch that I think still affects me the same way that it did the first time I watched it. It’s a masterpiece, and it’s status as one of the greatest of all time is well deserved.
Salty says:
Catholics go out of their way to hate themselves. What an unusual dogma: love the weak, the poor, the meager and the sick because they are blessed - but you, you’re scum, born into sin and damnation, you had better spend the rest of your life trying to make up for your own offensive existence or you’ll spend eternity filleting yourself and diving into salt or whatever. This is one of the most popular religions in the world. At least they've got good demons.
When I watch The Exorcist this is what comes to mind. For some reason - though I've seen the movie half a dozen times at least - I always forget about the Father-Karras-dying-mother subplot that is so depressing. It always catches me off guard. Instead of expecting to watch a tutorial on how to glut on self-loathing, I always remember the film as a kind of party with my dream demon the way The Murderdolls portray it in Love At First Fright, which, I believe, is the way most of the world remembers it. That is, the world and I remember a joyride with blasphemy and spinning heads and pea soup. I watch the movie to see Reagan scream “Let Jesus fuck you!” and do the blood vomiting crab-walk and to enjoy all the other rank and belching shenanigans Captain Howdy brings with him.
And the film works it’s way to those things, but you have to make a lot of other stops. First there is the sad life of Karras, then the pissing on the carpet, both of which are difficult to watch. And then we go to the hospital for tests. The tests are the worst. While it’s always funny to watch people smoke in the hospital, but advanced painful medical tests performed on a screaming young girl are not fun to watch, and it's around this time that I usually forget that I put this movie on to have fun with the devil and I start thinking that maybe I remembered wrong and that this movie isn't a joke to have fun with, but instead it’s very disturbing film. Then comes the Father’s visit to his mom in the asylum and Reagan’s mother’s despairing plea for information on how to go about getting an exorcism, and I know that the movie’s goal is to make me feel ashamed to watch it, and I kind of do.
So, by the time I get to the goods that I've been waiting for - that I looked forward to with a smile on my face - it’s not so easy to smile, because the movie is so serious that it makes you see the horror even if you only wanted to just revel in the weirdness and the chaos, and catholic or not, I am certain that I don’t want to hang out with a demon, regardless of his rank on a ship, and I start to think that maybe I should hate myself a little for thinking that I would. That’s how I know that the film was made by Catholics. Way to go fetus-huggers.
| Maire | Corey | Salty |
|---|---|---|
| ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆ |
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