What?! No Paul Zaza soundtrack? This movie is already off to a bad start! Wait, this isn’t even Hamilton High?! SHENANIGANS! And where the FUCK is Brock Simpson?!
Prom is dumb. Teenagers are really dumb. This movie is super dumb.
Corey says:
Oh man, where to begin? This movie was AMAZING. This was probably the best group of 20 and 30 somethings playing teenagers that I have ever seen. I could barely tell through the pancake makeup and crow’s feet that these weren’t awkward teens at their senior prom!
And the prom, MAN don’t get me started! This is almost exactly how I remembered things going. I remember being able to get hotel rooms even though I was underaged and without a credit card. Good thing that the prom was IN THE HOTEL! How awesome is that! And of course, who can forget how their high school prom venue looked like that awesome club from that video (except for the boobs and butts and booze, let’s not forget that these are underage 20-somethings, and that this movie is PG-13)!
My favorite part of this movie was how unpredictable it was. Gettin’ your hair did, and you see that guy what killed your parents and almost you in the mirror… only to turn around and he’s not there? Scriptwriting GENIUS. Girl getting mad at her boyfriend and going up to the hotel room that they totally legally were able to rent, and the killer gets her? DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING AT ALL! Hiding from the killer under the bed, and there’s A BODY UNDERNEATH THERE!!! How come no horror movie has ever thought of that before?
This movie blows.
Salty says:
This movie reveals the face of the killer right away and he is known as the killer throughout the whole film. What the fuck is that!? Look it doesn’t matter that you know throughout the whole movie that the killer is Sally’s leering older brother who is purported to be “into some weird stuff” from the first frame that you see him – the point is that you don’t see his him holding the bloody knife with that contorted look on his face until 45 seconds before the scene where he gets run over by the train thanks to the survivor girl’s deceased love-interest’s helpful German Shepard. These movies have a rhythm.
People have spent years looking for the perfect crab mask for their low budget horror film. To get the just the right mask is a major selling point for the film. Why else would anyone watch YouTube clips of Curtains? One reason that Halloween 4 blows (other than the fact that it killed one of the greatest fucking franchise ideas ever thunk) is that the mask is such a fuckup – people hate the Halloween 4 mask because it fails to capture the right spirit and it’s just a white mask! That’s it! Someone picked a featureless white mask that failed to live up to the hype of the old featureless white mask and it’s like someone added some poo to your intravenous saline solution – now there’s someone else’s poo in you! But this movie has the audacity to remove the whole mask concept. That’s like removing the ludicrous outfits from figure skating or the boobs from Miss America. It’s stupid!
There is no mask or ambiguity about who is doing the killings. There is no question about who the survivor girl is going to be. There is no challenge of any kind anywhere in the movie. The characters are all extremely unlikable, unredeemable and un-relatable. As I can find absolutely nothing worthwhile about this movie, I have to assume that I have fallen totally out of touch with a whole generation of horror and so I can’t really comment on the movie, because it’s totally out of context for me. BOO! (Not the scary kind the disapproving kind)
This movie reveals the face of the killer right away and he is known as the killer throughout the whole film. What the fuck is that!? Look it doesn’t matter that you know throughout the whole movie that the killer is Sally’s leering older brother who is purported to be “into some weird stuff” from the first frame that you see him – the point is that you don’t see his him holding the bloody knife with that contorted look on his face until 45 seconds before the scene where he gets run over by the train thanks to the survivor girl’s deceased love-interest’s helpful German Shepard. These movies have a rhythm.
People have spent years looking for the perfect crab mask for their low budget horror film. To get the just the right mask is a major selling point for the film. Why else would anyone watch YouTube clips of Curtains? One reason that Halloween 4 blows (other than the fact that it killed one of the greatest fucking franchise ideas ever thunk) is that the mask is such a fuckup – people hate the Halloween 4 mask because it fails to capture the right spirit and it’s just a white mask! That’s it! Someone picked a featureless white mask that failed to live up to the hype of the old featureless white mask and it’s like someone added some poo to your intravenous saline solution – now there’s someone else’s poo in you! But this movie has the audacity to remove the whole mask concept. That’s like removing the ludicrous outfits from figure skating or the boobs from Miss America. It’s stupid!
There is no mask or ambiguity about who is doing the killings. There is no question about who the survivor girl is going to be. There is no challenge of any kind anywhere in the movie. The characters are all extremely unlikable, unredeemable and un-relatable. As I can find absolutely nothing worthwhile about this movie, I have to assume that I have fallen totally out of touch with a whole generation of horror and so I can’t really comment on the movie, because it’s totally out of context for me. BOO! (Not the scary kind the disapproving kind)
| Maire | Corey | Salty |
|---|---|---|
| ☆ | ☆ | ☆ |
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