The Ratings

Each film is rated by each of the three reviewers (Corey, Maire and Salty) on a scale of 1 to 3 stars with no partial stars or bonus points. It’s a simple Bad, Okay or Good rating superficially, but each reviewer has a much more in-depth analysis of what this scale represents, so the reader is welcome to interpret the rating however they see fit.

Upon completion of a franchise the total number of stars given to each film are added together and adjusted by subtracting 3 stars from it’s total number. For example, suppose Salty gives Saw 47 a score of 2 stars, Maire gives it the highest score, 3 stars, and Corey gives it the lowest score, 1 star, the film will have achieved a total of 6 stars which is then adjusted to an over all rating of 3 stars (2+1+3-3=3). Thus, each film will receive an overall rating of 0 to 6 stars

(C+M+S-3=R, 0£R£6, as 1£C,M,S£3  C,M,S,RÎNÈ0).

As we at the House of Sequels really like movies, we find “0 stars” to be an inadequate representation of how bad a movie must be to attain a score of one star from each reviewer, so we have dubbed this ranking “Shit Pickle” and any such film will be annotated with the accompanying icon:

 and should be avoided*. Likewise in the extremely unlikely event that we should all decide that a film deserves 3 stars it will be dubbed “a fucking miracle” and annotated with the accompanying icon:    

The films are then ranked per franchise by their overall rating. Any ties will be resolved by the democratic process^**. This allows a new fan of the franchise to determine, with reasonable certainty, which sequels are worth investigation, while giving an old fan of the franchise a reason to dislike us because we ranked his/her favorite too low.

Once enough franchises have been ranked a new layer will be added in which we analyze the number of entries in each ranking as compared with the overall rating of each film in that franchise and determine which franchises are statistically better. That is, we will tell you which franchises have the least number of bad films weighted to account for the varying number of entries into each franchise. We suspect The Leprechaun series will not do well.

*Corey has a tendency to “respect” the biggest piles of shit that we can dredge up from the septic tank and reward them with a 2-star rating. The reader may want to consider those films that receive a 1-star overall ranking as lower than a shit pickle.

^**So, when Corey gives some godawful mouthful of urine-marinated animal diarrhea a score of 2 stars and then Maire gives a so-bad-it’s-good-because-it’s-funny movie score of 2 stars to some different pile of crap in the same franchise, Salty can democratically pick which one is better, so you know for sure.